Jools Oliver has revealed she had a miscarriage during lockdown.
The childrenswear designer and husband Jamie Oliver have spoken openly in the past about losing “five little stars in the sky”.
The couple are parents to Poppy, 18, Daisy, 17, Petal, 11, Buddy, nine, and River, three, and Oliver has said she still wants another child before her 47th birthday next year.
Speaking to Zoe Hardman on the Made By Mammas podcast, she said: “I really do, I really do but I’ve just had three miscarriages since then and a recent one three weeks ago and I’m thinking ‘No’. I don’t know. I do want to, but I’ve got to mentally check that it’s a good idea to do it.
“And also physically because I am 45 as I always say, nearly 46. So it’s a little bit dodgy.”
She added: “Jamie is still up for it, kind of, not really. I haven’t got long, maybe another year and then I really will just shut that chapter off because I am very happy and I am pretty full up at the moment as it is.
“But just that little baby, it’s a terrible thing to keep wanting something but you can’t help it. I assume it will stop.”
Asked how she was coping after losing a pregnancy so recently, she said: “I went to see the doctor the other day and doing all the chit chat and he said ‘How are you mentally?’ and I thought about it and I went ‘Well, this is the fifth one now’.
“I had two before River, and three, they’ve been early ones, they have been six-and-a-half weeks, the last two were.
“I’m really good at going ‘Right, I’m pregnant but it won’t work so I’m just going to carry on’, whereas everyone gets really into it and I have really learnt to not because I’m kind of not very positive about it so I feel OK, I also feel I’m so lucky.”
She continued: “I just feel like I have got five and shut up, on to the school run.”
Oliver said she thinks it is important to speak openly about the experience, adding: “It’s weird if you don’t, it just doesn’t make sense if you keep it quiet.”
She also said she did not tell her family about her most recent pregnancy because she did not want them to worry about her during lockdown.
She said: “I did have a pretty dangerous one – I think it was my second one which was really dangerous for myself – so my family don’t want me to do it again.
“They think ‘You don’t need to do it again, you’ve got five, you’ve got healthy children, just be grateful’. They don’t say it like that but that’s what I mean and I understand because my life is more important so I sometimes may not tell the sisters because I don’t want to hurt their feelings, I’d rather just not say because they’ll be worried about me, specially during lockdown.
“Telling my mum, well, especially because I couldn’t see her, would have really upset her so I kept that quiet. She knows now, but at the time I didn’t tell her.”
The couple celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary last month and Oliver paid tribute to the children they had lost in an Instagram post.
She wrote: “I treasure the daily texts you send, you are romantic and constantly positive funny and a dedicated brilliant dad we have created 5 wonderful children and lost our 5 little stars in the sky. Thank you for loving me the way you do.”
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